Without Her
by kelsey4794
Summary: This is set before the Percy Jackson series. It is about Luke and how he deals with the 'death' of Thalia. No flaming please.
1. Chapter 1

Without Her

(This takes place before PJO.)

Disclaimer: I don't own.

**Chapter 1 The Battle of Half-Blood Hill**

Time was frozen. Grover tried not to cower in fear as the monsters caught up with them. Annabeth looked at Luke with uncertainty, he tried to smile at her but all he could manage was a grimace. Thalia's head was held high, she held her shield aloft and her spear was ready in her hand. Luke had a look of hard determination, as he tried to prepare himself for what may be the end of his life, he held his sword tightly. "There are worse ways to die" he thought, he would be proud to go down in battle next to his best friends.

Thalia looked to Grover and spoke "Take Annabeth and Luke and get out of here."

"No I have to fight." Luke told her, however she ignored him.

"There's no way we'll all survive this, now get out of here." Thalia told Grover without emotion. Grover nodded his head, what she said was true, he tried to think of some way around it, but there wasn't one. Grover picked up Annabeth, who complained that she had to help fight the monsters, and he ran over the boundaries with her. He called Luke's name desperately as the monsters drew nearer.

"Luke go!" Thalia screamed. As she said it her voice broke. But Luke ignored her warnings and stood next to her his arm touching hers. Behind them in the far distance a centaur was galloping towards them, at top speed but the pair was unaware. An arrow whizzed by Luke's face. Thalia nodded and they ran in to meet their enemies. Luke took the first monster he saw. Next to him Thalia was battling it out with a huge monster with too many heads. She tried to press him back with aegis but he wouldn't yield, it was over in a split second, the monster wiped her out with one swipe of his overlarge hands.

Luke watched as his best friend, the girl he loved fell to the ground aegis still clutched in her hand. He ran to her abandoning his battle, he ran to her, she would be fine he told himself, but as he thought it he knew, it was untrue. He didn't even get there in time to see his best friend one last time, he was 20ft away when her body was lifted into the air, it hovered for a moment, the monsters cheered. And then she was gone and an enormous pine tree sprouted where moments ago Thalia's lifeless body had rested. Luke fell to the ground sobbing. He knew the monsters would get him, but that was what he wanted, to be with her again. Let them he thought. But the centaur who had finally arrived grabbed him up and threw him onto his back.

"No, stop!" Luke cried trying to jump off, but the centaur held onto him with one arm.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Pain

Luke awoke with a killer headache, rays of sunshine were pouring into the window, but Luke couldn't see them, he didn't remember where they were staying. He turned over to see the familiar face of Thalia, but instead saw Annabeth with red puffy eyes, a tear stained crying face. The memories flooded back he could hear her voice in his head, "Luke go!" He should have saved her. He didn't want this any more, he wanted out. That was manageable. He sat up and walked to the door that he assumed was the exit. Annabeth stayed where she was.

On the front porch the centaur stood up. Feelings of hatred rushed through his body, this centaur hadn't let him stay. The centaur had taken him away from Thalia. Thalia. Just thinking her name cut threw his chest like a knife that had been put into a freezer, the pain was searing. He ignored it, he would be out soon. The centaur introduced himself as Chiron and started talking saying that he was "So sorry about Luke's friend but that he, Luke, was safe now." They were all lies, Luke knew it if _Chiron_ had even cared about Thalia he would've let Luke stay. "I don't care" Luke roared "I don't care." He repeated his face contorted with rage and sorrow and despair. He took off running, running to get away from the stupid horse, running so he didn't have to see Annabeth's crushed face, running away so that Luke Castellan would never have to feel this way again.

He didn't realize where he was until he stopped. He was on the terrible hill, the hill where Thalia's life had been cut short. He looked over at the pine tree that wasn't, that couldn't be all that was left of Thalia. He walked over to the tree with detached angry strides. He paused one moment and then a furious rage enveloped Luke Castellan he kicked the trunk of the stupid tree that couldn't be Thalia and it hurt his foot, he kicked it harder this time, angry that it had the nerve. He kicked and kicked and his leg got heavier and heavier and his foot was throbbing and he fell down crumpled to the ground. He didn't know how log he had stayed there but when he picked up his matted blonde head all the light in the sky was gone, but Luke couldn't even tell the difference.

He stood up and looked up into the open branches of the tree, that couldn't be Thalia and he climbed up it higher and higher protected from the wind by its thick branches. He was hoping for a miracle, hoping that in the height of the tree he would be connected to Thalia again. He could go no farther now; the branches above him were too thin to hold his weight. He waited a minute for a sign a sign that maybe Thalia hadn't left the earth left her life and left Luke. But he felt nothing just a hollow space in his chest where a heart used to beat rhythmically. He was going to jump he had to; he knew he wouldn't survive the fall but that was what he wanted. He stood up and he could feel himself swaying as one with the tree. He closed his eyes and smiled it was ok; he would be with her soon. He was poised, ready to jump when he heard her voice. He didn't know if it was real or in his head but at this point he didn't care as long as he could hear it. "Stop Luke, I didn't leave for you to follow me so closely after."

"But Thal I want to. Don't you want to see me? Don't you love me as much as I love you?" he questioned. He didn't care that he sounded like a whiny child.

"I do want to see you, so bad Luke, but they need you here, you'll be a great hero. I do love you as much as you love me maybe more." she answered.

"Not more, it isn't possible"

"Oh yes it is." She told him and Luke knew that if he could have seen her face her eyes would have sparkled, she would've been grinning, and her fingers would have tingled with electricity. Luke smiled remembering.

"You're wrong," he told her. Longing to see her face again.

"Well fine, it's a tie." She muttered, "Luke you can't do this."

"Please" he said his eyes welling up with tears.

"What about Annabeth?" she questioned severely.

Luke froze, he hadn't even thought of Annabeth, he was a bad friend to that little girl. Thalia never would have been so selfish.

"I, I, I don't know Thal." He said and he knew that Thalia had won the argument (as usual.) He had to be there for Annabeth, he had to be what Thalia used to be to her.

"Good." Thalia said her voice only a whisper

Luke didn't answer becuase if he did he wouldn't have been able to hold onto the solution he had been shown. He climbed down carefully. His feet hit the ground and he walked back slowly. He looked back and the saw the moon above Thalia's tree. He walked back to the house.


	3. Chapter 3

**Jealous**

He and Annabeth had been stuck in the Hermes cabin, a cabin for misfits, a cabin for the unwanted children of gods who were to conceited to care for the kids that they shouldn't have had in the first place. Soon after this Annabeth had been claimed by Athena. Luke wasn't surprised looking back on his years as a runaway he saw that he probably should've noticed sooner, Thalia had probably known. After all Thalia had known that her father was Zeus.

He thought back about the first time that she had told him, "Wow!" He had exclaimed, "Your dad is king of the immortals."

She had grimaced "S' nothin' special." She had told him. "If he cared for me at all we wouldn't be running around the country everyday to escape freaking monster attacks, would we?" she had asked him a hard note in her voice.

Luke hadn't answered that day; he was too worried to admit that he agreed. Back then Luke and Thalia had stayed up after Annabeth was asleep and they would talk about how awful it was to have parents who didn't give a darn whether you lived or died. They had spent many nights cursing the gods so why did Luke feel so jealous that Annabeth had found a spot in the thousand year old monarchy of Greek myth? He didn't hold it against Annabeth, it wasn't her fault, he knew that, but still he was jealous.

He wished he could talk to Thal again. Every night he had gone to her tree and called out for her, but he never got an answer. He wondered if he had just imagined it the first time. The nights were the hardest parts of each day for Luke Castellan, each evening he would get his hopes up that tonight she would talk to him again, but they just crashed back down after hours in that tree, leaving him more broken than before. Maybe he'd imagined her talking to begin with.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Hey guys I really appreciate all the reviews and input you've been giving me! So thanks. I know this one's really really short, but I'm adding at least two chapters today. **

**Claimed**

After a month Luke was claimed, a true son of Hermes, but it didn't change anything, he still felt like an outsider in his fathers cabin. He would sit there in the most rundown cabin of them all, thinking about her. He missed her too much. During the days he tried to hide the pain, he would close off his heart, a part of him that would always belong to Thalia.

He tried not to show everyone how much it hurt him. He probably wasn't fooling Annabeth though, she still looked at him funny as if she was taking care of him not the other way around. Annabeth's eyes were increasingly less and less red-rimmed each morning, she was healing, bouncing back, she would always remember and love Thalia, but her death wouldn't rule her life. But it would rule Luke's. Luke couldn't bounce back, but if he could he probably wouldn't have anyway, it would be like betraying her.

The nights were different. He spent each night chanting her name in his head as if it could bring her back to him, but it was to no avail. He would then wrack his brain for all the happy memories he had shared with her. And he would see her face so clearly he couldn't breathe for a moment, because his lungs felt like they were on fire. Luke wanted to be sure that he would never forget her face and her electric blue eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

**To Save Her**

Luke spent most of his days thinking, thinking of ways to save her. He even asked the centaur for a quest to Hades. But Chiron had said that even if he got to the underworld, Thalia wasn't there, her spirit was still in that tree. So he had asked, what if he cut open the tree. Would that let her out? But no apparently that would only kill her for real.

One night Luke awoke feeling a surge of energy that he used to feel before he and Thalia ran into battle. He sprinted to the big house to find Chiron.

"Chiron, the Golden Fleece, the Golden Fleece, it would let her out," he had said laughing at how simple the answer really was.

"Luke" Chiron had answered with a sad and all too understanding smile, " The golden Fleece is lost." But that was what Luke had expected him to say, he was always saying dumb things like that. Luke knew the Fleece was lost.

"I'll find it!" he responded, "It'll be a quest and Annabeth can come!"

"Well it won't hurt to see the oracle." Chiron had said with a pained voice as if he didn't think it would work. Luke's heart surged he ran up the steps.

He had stayed in that attic for hours phrasing his question in every way possible, but the oracle just sat with a creepy smile on her mummified face saying absolutly nothing. Luke had walked down the stairs not sure how much more he could take. Chiron had gazed after him but made no attempt to talk to him.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Yep, I know that it's short so you don't have to tell me. Thanks again for the reviews!**

**Just a Distraction**

Luke turned to sword fighting to fight his greif. He was already pretty good; he used to fight with Thalia (though she always beat him.) He never went to any other lessons, just sword fighting. Each day he grew better. The pain in his sore muscles distracted him from the pain in his heart. He would go to dinner with sweat and secret tears on his face. He liked the security, the routine, that sword fighting gave him, each day was much the same, and that made it easier, there were never any surprises in his days.

In six months Luke could beat anyone at camp, _anyone_.

One day a random thought, crossed his mind before he could push it away,"Could I beat Thalia?" he wondered.

He immediately knew the answer, "No, definitely not."

But thinking her name hurt, like pulling off a band-aid but much worse. He had been closing his empty heart, locking it away behind bulletproof walls; he was only going to the tree once a week now. But even his walls were not this thick because he had torn them down with just a thought. He dropped his sword and walked back to his cabin he went to sleep for a very long time.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: It might be cheesy, we'll see, but I like the next chapter so bear with me.**

**Birthday**

Four days had passed since the dreadful day in the sword-fighting arena. It was December 22. Thalia's birthday. A thousand years ago (it seemed) it was Thalia's birthday, Annabeth and Luke had sung the Happy Birthday song at the top of their lungs, he remembered how Thalia had tried to keep a straight face but in the end she had given in to laughter, the three of them had rolled on the ground howling with laughter for 15 minutes. It hadn't even been that funny, but they didn't have much to laugh at.

As he remembered he fell apart again, not that it took much. He ran to the tree as fast as he could and climbed up to the top in mere seconds, after all practice makes perfect. He sat there all day in just his jeans and a tee shirt. He thought about how much he would give to be happy. He realized the last time he was genuinely happy was when he Thalia and Annabeth were still on the run. They had been all on their own, isolated from the world, nobody but each other, but it had been enough, they had been happy. Luke fell asleep in the tree thinking about her.

"Come on sleepy head, get up and get out of the cold." he heard Thalia say. Luke figured he was dreaming so he didn't move, if he woke up she would be gone again. But the voice got louder, Thalia was screaming at him. He grinned in his sleep, he remembered the time he pushed her into a river by one of their hidden homes, she was so angry. She hollered so much that Annabeth cried. But in the end she laughed with him. But this screaming was different, it was a shriek, she was frightened, Thalia was crying, Luke had only seen her cry once before, something had to be wrong, she was being tortured, and he needed to save her. He jolted awake.

"Luke you imbecile, it is December, you can't just go to sleep out here without a fire, you would have frozen to death." She said, relief clear in her voice. "I thought you were going to die." She whispered. If he could have seen her she probably would have been whiping away tears, trying to act tough. "Thalia, you're here!" he said happily.

" Yeah I am. I Love you Luke, now go back." She sighed.

"Love you too." He said contently. And he didn't bother to wonder why he was hearing her voice. Maybe he was insane, but that wasn't really important. He climbed back down and trudged through the thin layer of snow on the ground. He barely realized that he was cold, he was just too happy.


	8. Chapter 8

**8. Reminders (this takes place in the Spring, the last chapter was in the winter)**

The leaves were turning green again on the trees, the ground was damp from a light shower that was allowed into the camp's magical borders and Luke was walking back to the mess hall from the sword fighting arena, his heart was a bit lighter than usual. Nice weather made for a nice change. He saw Annabeth shooting a bow and arrow. He did a double take. She had painted her fingernails black, and wore thick eyeliner around the rims of her gray eyes. Her sweatshirt was black over her camp tee shirt and she had on a pair black cargo pants that were too big, and on her wrists were thick chain bracelets. She looked as though she had raided Thalia's closet (not that Thalia had one when Luke knew her.)

"Hey Annabeth," Luke called out tentatively.

"Luke!" she exclaimed happily her black rimmed eyes widening.

"Uh, what are you wearing that stuff for?" he asked her softly

"I just like it." She said innocently

"Oh, uh, you never did before. How come you like it now?" he asked her

"I look like Thalia." She said sullenly

"Why would you want to look like Thalia? Don't you want to look like Annabeth?" he questioned with his eyebrows clenched together so tears wouldn't spill out of his eyes.

"No, you like Thalia better than me" She said stubbornly

"No, Annabeth, we're best friends right?" he said, upset with himself. He needed to remember that Annabeth was a little kid, sometimes it was easy to forget that.

"Luke, you never come to see me anymore." She had accused him seriously

"Yes I do." He said genuinely surprised by what she said, but he realized it was true. "I... yeah, you're right. I should be spending more time with you." He said feeling immensely guilty.

"That's okay, Luke" she said, "I know that you're sad. You miss Thalia, I do too." She told him kicking her sneaker in the moist spring soil.

"Yeah, I do, a lot." He told her, "But I should still spend time with you, right princess?" he said in his 'reserved for Annabeth voice'. "How about tomorrow we spend the day together?" he asked her trying to right the months of wrongs he'd committed.

She nodded, "Yeah."

"Where did you get this stuff anyway?" he asked her, helping her to take off the chain bracelets.

"Silena."

"Oh." He stifled a laugh; it was typical of Silena he thought, she was obsessed with clothing.

He slipped his hand into Annabeth's and they walked to the mess hall together.

It felt like old times holding Annabeth's hand. He could picture Thalia walking on his other side, half a pace ahead of him, always the leader, and then she would turn back and smile, and Luke would grab her hand and she might allow it. The three of them, wandering the country, hand, in hand, in hand.

"Tomorrow, right?" Annabeth's voice broke the nostalgia; she had taken her seat at the Athena table.

"Yeah, tomorrow." He said grinning. He was actually looking forward to the next day.


End file.
